Getting Should On By Strangers
What about that strange lady in Wal-mart? Hovering. She’s listening to you (again). This time to a conversation between you and your teenage daughter. The seeming topic is neon wall paint. Always suddenly, stranger lady steps closer and says, “You should check out Michaels’ they have 50% off coupons you can get with an app for your cell phone to buy anything, like paint. Oh, and if you like neon, you should really consider the glow in the dark, also known as, phosphorescent, paints they have here in aisle 46.”
In these situations, I get stuck on the fact that this person I’ve never met, who doesn’t remotely have the context of the private conversation I’m having with my daughter, actually knows that glow in the dark paint is in aisle 46.
“I’m sorry. Do you work here?”
What is her motivation? Escape, possibly. Think about it. You have to escape from yourself to hone in on what others are saying. You’re for sure escaping if you’re eavesdropping. And if you are, in fact, escaping, then you’re not taking 100% responsibility for yourself. While you’re busy dolling out the shoulds, you’re not letting go either.
A couple things come to mind here. This lady with the shoulds can’t help herself. If she could, not should, she would. The same goes for you or me. We do it to ourselves…
“Oh, I should have been more careful. I should have known better. I should have seen her coming and turned down a different aisle!”
Once you let go, I promise underneath will be something helpful. Like kindness or compassion. Gratitude perhaps. Then you’d see. She can’t help being who she is.
“If they could do better they would” ~ Dr David R Hawkins
So she’s still blabbing on with her tips. You stand with your daughter and breathe and let go. Then you say to her. “Thank you. That’s very kind advice. I hope you have a lovely day.” And you do really mean what you say because you’ve let go.
Letting go makes accepting others effortless.
You should try it.
What if every time you heard, “You should…”
you only heard, “I love you” ?