Letting Go in Parenting (Part 3)

How could we as parents help our children to come into their own individuality and complete their childhood with well developed self-esteem, courage and self-love?

I have some ideas.

Teach your child to let go.

I know this won’t come as a surprise and yet it has never been more important. The more negativity your child clears from within, the greater inner strength revealed.  Instead of complaining with your child about how lame school is (and we’ve all done this) let go together and accept it is what it is. Help the child to see that the world is scared right now and angry about problems like climate change, over population and over consumption not to mention bullying. Everyone is in a frenzy to be right which hasn’t solved much. Nothing is ever solved by people stuck in negative emotions.

When we let go we free up energy and inner resources to look at problems creatively and intuitively. People who have let go are also willing to work together.

ink drawing of Child by Ella Montgomery

Encourage your child to see the world wisely

Know they can do this.  Yes there are still moments when we clearly hold a wise space for our children but the days when adults are the “keepers of knowledge” have passed. It’s not about getting your child to adopt your point of view about how awful the world is.  This is about acceptance of what is and choosing better in each moment. Encourage them to make choices from a sense of courage and acceptance not from fear, anger or pride. Teach them how to recognize the difference.

Show them what it is to be calm. 

Weave in times in your family life where calm is the overall tone. Reinforce this sense in your child. Take breaks from technology and noise. Prepare and eat some meals in silence. This will benefit everyone because quiet and calm tells the body it’s safe. The more opportunities you and your child have for calm the greater the healing from the scary news talked about each day at school and found all over the internet.


Stop complaining about world problems. 

Complaining about our tainted food supply or the devastated salmon streams only provokes fear and anger. People mistakenly believe that because fear and anger were motivating to humans in the past they are effective and appropriate energies today. I don’t believe this is true. Years have passed and many well meaning people continue on with the same complaints now decades old.  Not much has changed and not much will if we continue to complain. I think we get the picture of how bad it is. Let the complainers continue doing this and you be different. Take the high road in full view of your child.  Fall in love with the life you have right now.  Let go of anything in the way of this. Adopt a reverence for life. Show your child what a reverence for life looks and feels like. Be grateful for the food you eat together. Take moments to feel blessed. Recycle out of love for your community and it’s wonderful well-meaning systems. Spend time outdoors in nature. Instead of complaining, remember what it feels like to love your planet and your life.

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go.
— Lao Tzu

Help your child develop the tools of discernment

Just because it happened does not mean it’s true. When fighting breaks out in a country it is a reality on one level (human ego) it is not, however, the ultimate reality. Humans (especially the ones reading a blog like this) have access to higher ways of being and this must be mentored for our children. Therefore, we accept that people will continue to do despicable things to the planet, each other and themselves.  However, we can and must choose better. To encourage discernment help your child see that people are limited in their choices but that there’s always choice. Notice when they made a choice to show courage, kindness or compassion. When they chose negativity encourage them to let go.

I hope these ideas inspire you and your family.

art by Fabienne Montgomery