Do You Have a Letting Go Question?

Reader submitted questions together with Doree’s suggestions for Letting Go

Name: CQ
Email: Removed for privacy

In the past three weeks I have had anxiety about things I done in the past and held onto negative thoughts which led me to having insomnia. My sister told me about Dr Hawkins and I read his book, and I was able to let go of most of my negative thoughts and was able to give forgiveness to myself and others. I don’t have anxiety unless I tried to go to sleep in the bedroom, my heart starts racing and I am thinking about all the “what ifs” about not getting sleep. I have a negative link to this, and I try to let go of these thoughts, but I can’t seem to shake it. I know this to be the case because sometimes I take ativan and I fall asleep right away, because it blocks out my thoughts. I don’t want to take ativan, but this sleep anxiety sometimes doesn’t let me sleep. It’s like a mind lock. Some nites I am able to let go and I sleep but I wake up and I have to let go again, so it’s become exhausting to do this.

My question, How long does it usually take to surrender a negative story that is strong and keeps coming back? When it’s like 3:00am and you’re awake, this is the where your mind doesn’t stop or likes to listen. I am pretty new to this, so I might be doing it wrong.

Thanks for your time.

CQ

Dear CQ,

Thank you for asking this question. Many people suffer from what you describe. I know I have. Let’s see if your courage to ask and this response helps you and others.

What if the next time you woke at 3am you felt happy about it? Instead of feeling stressed and anxious, you laid in bed and smiled because you have a plan. Being awake at 3am gives you the opportunity to stay still and warm in bed and use your mind. How wonderful! It is within your power to turn this upset into healing. How do you do this? Here are some suggestions.

Silently chant the word, “Health” (like a lullaby) and weave it into your breathing. Or do the same with the word, “Wealth” or “Thank you” or any word that feels good. This practice comes from Dr Joseph Murphy’s famous book, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind.

There is a gorgeous and ancient chant from the Hawaiians called, Hoʻoponopono. You can say the words below, silently to yourself, as many times as you wish. I’ve practiced it for anything that comes to mind, real or imagined, past or present.

I’m sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you

If you have a favourite inspirational quote, psalm, mantra or prayer, happily (and silently) recite it to yourself. As you do, notice your body and any sensations this may bring to your awareness.

Breath in for 3 counts and out for 4.

Study this page on How to Quiet the Mind.

Envision a beautiful garden with a swimming pond, birds singing, perhaps a tree swing. Create a scene that pleases you. Find a younger version of yourself there (for example you at 6 years of age) and enjoy this magical place together. Play in the garden. Tell this wee, sweet child all that they need to hear to feel save and loved.

These next suggestions are a bit far out but they’re Dr. Hawkins endorsed and I’ve tried and enjoyed them all. So here goes.

Read the book, Journey’s Out of Body by Robert Munroe (of the Munroe Institute)
and learn about astral travel and out of body adventures. The technology he developed is called Hemi-sync
and takes you beyond time and space – where you aren’t concerned with losing sleep.

By intention and imagination, “travel” to comfort another person who is dying and alone. Allow them to “see” you.  In your mind’s eye, tell them not to worry and that they are loved. (pg 466-67 Healing and Recovery
by Dr. David R Hawkins).

Go back to any life event, traumatic or otherwise and change the ending. Perhaps who you are now would do things very differently. Go ahead and change the story in your mind. Go to someone who’s now out of your life and say the beautiful words you can say now. Listen to them speak lovingly to you. Hear them say how sorry they are for what they did.

Sometimes being awake (without interruption) is a time for us to listen deeply. Ask yourself, “What do I need to know?”  “What am I now ready to learn?”

Remember a time that was painful and where you did things you regret. Watch the scene and see how at the time it was the best you could do with who you were and what you knew. Now you know better. Now you are better. Feel how you’ve grown into a better person.

The point I’m trying to make is this. When you wake at an undesired time be prepared in advance. Plan to be pleased. What you do (with your mind) can shift the upset instantly. Be willing to allow the wakefulness – to welcome it. It is within your power to shift this to something positive – even delightful and heartwarming. Remember what you resist (push against) persists. It also drains you of energy and makes you feel tired regardless of any amount of sleep. By contrast, saying, “Yes” to what’s happening is another form of letting go.

I probably don’t have to tell you, any positive form you choose to welcome wakefulness (whatever the time), has the rapid effect of lulling you back to sleep. However, in the state of happy acceptance, you won’t care either way.

Thank you again for helping to inspire others to heal.

Hugs,

Doree

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Name: J-A

Email: Removed for privacy

Hello Doree:

I have been a student of Dr. David R. Hawkins for ten years.

I have read “Letting go, the pathway of surrender” three or four times last year.
Ok, I think I have understood the technique, you have a negative feeling and you have to welcome it, without suppressing it, without repressing it, ok, you fully experience it without resisting it.
So… I have one big negative feeling above all, and this is fear of my economic future, it has been a source of anxiety and worry for the last 2 years or so. So, last year I learned the letting go technique. But this is my doubt, something I don’t understand very well:

As you let all this negative feeling come up and fully experience it, all the fear, the worry, the anxiety about the economic stuff, is the law of attraction also working? if so, while you are feeling bad, very bad and depressed, aren’t you attracting negative stuff to your life?. What do you think about this, maybe you can give me some light about it?
Congratulations for your web and podcast. I have your mp3’s on my mobile phone. I also love your voice. Your accent is very easy to understand for people whose first language is not English.

A big hug from Spain

J-A

March 20, 2014

Answer:

Hi J-A,

I’m honoured by your question and I deeply admire your dream to be free. I sense you are capable of letting go. You know what it is to go into your body, quiet the mind and breathe. What seems to be the issue for you is your thoughts. They are, “running the show” and they rarely take a break. You’re consumed by thoughts about money (bills, debt, not enough). And all these thoughts are connected to feelings of hopelessness. So let’s get to work and sort this out. 🙂

First we clear up the confusion around letting go and law of attraction. With law of attraction, you’re thinking and feeling on your desire. With letting go, you’re simply breathing and noticing your body with no thinking. It’s the thinking that’s causing all the problems. Only allow thinking when you have chosen to think. This is very important for you and not just for thinking about money. In the past, you’ve obsessed about other topics. You are a thinker. Please understand it is perfectly wonderful to think about your money dream (or anything) provided you have willed this. Here’s what that might look like:

Begin with your image (money dream) of how you wish it to be (similar to law of attraction). Allow yourself to visit this image twice a day, say morning and night for a few minutes. Then, for the rest of the day, whenever you think about your financial dream (or nightmare), hasquickly interrupt this thought.  Don’t let it form. Let go. I like to say Shh…! to undesired thoughts. You will notice there’s a moment where you sense the thought starting to form. Don’t wait to hear it. Interrupt it and let go.

One more thing. This will pass and one day money will no longer be an issue. You will have healed it. And you will have this compulsion to think cleared up too! Please write me then and we’ll celebrate.

hugs,

Doree

Welcome abundance and allow yourself to be wealthy in health, happiness and love

Name: R

Email: Removed for Privacy

Hi Doree,

I’m currently reading one of Dr. Hawkins’ books and I find the concept very intriguing. I think letting go has the potential to be very helpful to me in my life, I could really benefit from getting a handle on many of my negative emotions that are holding me back from living “better”.

However, I am having a very difficult time with the actual “letting go” process. Whenever I notice a negative emotion, I either sit comfortably or lie down and just let myself experience the emotion.

Sometimes I zone out or start thinking about something else, and the emotion lessens in intensity or goes away from the surface, but I don’t feel that I have really let it go. As soon as I think about it again, I feel the same feelings. Sometimes I replay whatever the cause of my emotion was to get back on track but I feel that I am just sitting with it for very long periods of time but not accomplishing anything.

I am a med student and I have very little free time so it’s difficult for me to start to try to let go if I am uncertain that I will be able to get anywhere in a reasonable amount of time. I have sat for an hour before and not felt much different.

What am I doing wrong? Is there any advice you can offer?

Thank you very much!

Answer:

Hello R and thank you for writing.

You’re doing nothing wrong. Please don’t give up. Instead, appreciate the courage it’s taken you to honestly look inside yourself.

For some, letting go brings up resistance. A part of you, (ego) believes the emotional trauma held in your body is protective. The struggle you describe (escaping into other thoughts, a sense of poor results or time wasting) suggest what you’re doing is working! Stick with it.

Incidentally, you don’t need free time to let go. Once learned, the practice can be applied anytime and anywhere.

I have one more suggestion. Take 5 minutes and make a list of the emotional traumas you carry. If you like, rate the discomfort each causes you, from 1-10 (1 = benign/harmless and 10 = debilitating). Once you have the list, put it away for a few months and build your letting go practice. Keep in mind, letting go is contemplative (you don’t need to set aside time – unless you want to). On occasion, check back with your list. Now you can measure the results of letting go.

If you have a specific issue that seems sticky please send it to me. I’ll put my intuitive hat on and have a look.

A Big Hug for you!

Doree

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Name: D M

Email: removed for privacy

Hi Doree

I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. I have read David’s letting go book.
I recovered from depression/anxiety with a different but more or less identical approach. David’s book helped me realize that letting go is a universal healing tool.

I have a quick question. I tend to have global feelings of underlying heaviness and background physical tension. I am letting go on those feelings and they are coming and going but generally lessening. I want to practice on specifics relating to money and abundance. However, I find it difficult to locate specific emotions relating to these or any other issues. The underlying emotion/presenting symptom is always this non-specific tension/tight feeling. Usually centering around my neck/upper back. I wondered whether you have any thoughts on this?

Do you ever do one to one coaching by Skype?

Cheers

D

Answer:

Thank you D, for sharing your positive results with the letting go process. I agree with you! It is a “universal healing tool.”

Now let’s look at your question.

Intuitively, I feel an achy sense of impatience in your neck (on either side). This contributes to a heaviness. As if your neck is tired holding up your head! Can you let go on those sensations? Breathe into whatever you notice in and around your body.

I’m familiar with what you’re going through. Some years ago, I was on a quest to master the money realm. However, I became so pridefully driven that I unknowingly attracted a horrible scam. I lost everything, including valued relationships and my health. As you know from reading my blog, my life has improved dramatically. I no longer hold the belief that money will bring me any form of happiness. Happiness is an inside job.

Through Dr Hawkin’s teachings, I now consider myself a steward of the abundance in my life (this includes money). I remind myself, “Nothing is permanent.” It’s all on loan to me – compliments of the Divine.

One last thing. Have a look at when you feel in a hurry about making more money. This sense of hurry is your trigger to practice letting go. Quiet the thoughts and breath into the sensations until you feel very calm. With you, I would also add, breathe until you take a full chest, breath (like a deep sigh….) It could take some time before you can breathe really deeply. Be patient with yourself.

Much love to you.

Doree

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Name: S

Email: removed for privacy

Hi Doree,

I have just discovered your website and I gotta say you’re doing a great job, very useful. Now, my question is … When letting go, I find myself quite unable to identify actual feelings of envy, fear of acceptance and so on, and the only feelings I seem to have are in the upper abdomen and upper chest, so I was wondering if there is something I can do In order to be able to identify more subtle emotions ?

Thanks a lot and keep up the good work !!!!

S

Answer:

Hello S!

It’s wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for reading and for letting go.

This might come as a surprise. But being, as you say, unable to identify the actual emotion, is great! With letting go we focus on the sensations. Thinking, including naming emotions, is not helpful to the process. If you need help to quiet your mind, I’ve built a page you can visit.

As you progress in body awareness, you’ll become increasingly sensitive to very subtle sensations. Apply the letting go method to everything. Even if the sensation is one of joy. Quieting your mind and breathing into the sensations informs the body it’s safe to feel joy. This is one very powerful way to expand positive states such as joy, happiness, contentment, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion and love.

I sense you could share letting go to help and inspire others. Be sure to read Dr Hawkins book Letting Go: A Pathway to Surrender 
if you want to learn more.

Love and best wishes,

Doree

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Name: MM
Dear Doree, I love your web and podcast and I love Dr Hawkins and his books.I read fascinated in the final of “Letting go, the pathway of surrender” the doctor’s story who “letting go” his glasses…I have also strong glasses…and I wish to know how I “letting go” my glasses too!And my second issue – sorry… – is a lymphoedema who partially cover my throat and face. A little pressure sensation…and anxiety about the future…Is there any advice you can offer me for this two problems?Thank you very much and a Big Hug for you!!
I love your web and podcast and I love Dr Hawkins and his books.I read fascinated in the final of “Letting go, the pathway of surrender” the doctor’s story who “letting go” his glasses…I have also strong glasses…and I wish to know how I “letting go” my glasses too!And my second issue – sorry… – is a lymphoedema who partially cover my throat and face. A little pressure sensation…and anxiety about the future…Is there any advice you can offer me for this two problems?Thank you very much and a Big Hug for you!!
(and sorry for my bad english…)
Answer:
Dearest MM
So nice to hear from you and with a topic I can personally relate to – improving eyesight. I too have heard the Doc tell his story of throwing away his trifocals and driving blind for 6 weeks! It inspired me too. I’m nearsighted with astigmatism. Two summers ago, I set my glasses aside for over a month. My goals was to constantly let go. To surrender what I thought I should see.
I had partial success. Some moments my vision would sharpen fully. I could read tiny numbers on a digital clock from 5 meters away. Or I’d be practicing yoga when suddenly I could see myself clearly in the mirror when moments before, I was just a blur. There were other times, however, when I felt it was too reckless not to be wearing my glasses. I brought them with me on a driving trip to the United States. I’d pop them on going through unfamiliar towns. In the end, I still wear my glasses but I continue to take them off at times throughout the day. My eye doctor discouraged me from doing this but I still have an intention to try again. Maybe next summer.
I guess I would ask you why you want to improve your vision. What would be your intention?  I couldn’t really come up with a powerful intention. It was something I just wanted to experience – nothing profound really.Now your other mentioned affliction, lymphedema. This feels like something you are deeply motivated to improve. I sense it has become a huge part of your identity. What I mean is, you are very informed of this condition and you think about it sometimes constantly. I’m going to suggest something radical.
What if you let go everything you know about this condition (including the name)? Each time it came up in your thoughts, you let go and cancelled paying any attention to it. Take a vacation, mentally and emotionally from it! Give yourself permission to go on a 6 week break from anything to do with lymphedema. Tell others in your life (who might bring it up), you’re on vacation. I mean, don’t you feel you’ve earned a break?
Of course it’s up to you. But if you do choose the holiday, please write me again. I’d love to hear what was revealed by the letting go experience.
Again, wonderful to hear from you my dear.IMG_1096
Name: L

I am going through a painful period of loss and growth in my life right now as I let go of an important relationship. It seems the perfect time to practice letting go. I’m in the process of reading the book.  I believe I am someone who has become adept at pushing away feelings in order to protect myself — probably beginning from the death of my father at age 5.I have many many stabs of grief and heaviness  throughout the day and I do try to relax into them.  It seems that something deep inside of me pushes away these painful physical sensations as soon as possible, before I can really feel them or really let them go. I’m sure it’s a coping mechanism, but  not so sure it’s serving me now.Then there are other times, when I’m feeling less triggered and want to practice letting go but can’t really feel much of anything in my body. I’d love to get some advice for both of those situations. It seems that I’m trying to work with very fleeting access to feelings. That’s not to say I don’t feel things — it’s just hard to access my feelings.Love your website, but still looking for more resources. Can you recommend other books or websites that promote similar ideas about letting go?

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

L

 

Hello my Dear L,

It is with deep admiration I write this response. The depth of self awareness you share is so inspiring! As is your honesty and willingness to do the inner work.

As you know from all the self inquiry you’ve done, this is not easy work. I sometimes say, letting go is the hardest work I’ve ever done. Letting go is simple, it’s just not easy. So we ask ourselves, “How am I making this more complicated than it is?”

Regarding letting go of a relationship, there are only two parts. The first addresses the “business” of the relationship. The logistical decisions and matter of fact steps two people take to conclude certain details. This may include legal agreements or simply who gets what or creating a new definition of how or if we will relate. The other part is managing the emotions and states connected to grief and loss, fear of the future, unmet desires, anger and disappointment.

So let’s look at the first part which I sense might be easier for you. If you are dealing with the business aspects of the relationship and any emotions arise, use the letting go technique. Then get back to “business”. If the emotions become overwhelming you may choose to consciously suppress them. Later, when circumstances are more conducive you can let go.

Let’s say you’re at that point. You feel it’s an optimal time to let go. So you sit quietly and mine the body for sensations. And find nothing. You feel numb. At moments like this (and I’ve experienced many) I accept the numbness. I might even ask for more  🙂  I also revisit my intention which is to let go the negative emotions held in my body.

Living by intention guides a letting go practice. To do this get clear on your healing intention(s). Write them down. Revisit these a couple times each day. Surrender any undesired thoughts around the intention. And let go on any emotions that arise connected with your intention. For a deeper explanation on how this works, check this post.

Quite often when we think nothing is happening so much is! However it occurs just under the surface of our conscious awareness. When you get discouraged, assume this is the case. Be sure to notice when, out of the blue, you feel liberated.
Finally, honour the wisdom of the wee 5 year old inside, who lost her Daddy. It served her to learn how to cope with negative emotions by “adeptly pushing away her feelings” and perhaps those of others. Then celebrate the woman you are now. This amazing being has realized her skill in emotional suppression no longer serves her. Well done! I hope you get how extraordinary you are.
Resources: I’m sure you’ve already read my post on grief. If not, find it here. Regarding other resources, I recommend another superb book by Dr Hawkins called,
Healing and Recovery    as well as any of his Office Series available for listening on Audible. For some people determined to apply mental techniques to healing, Byron Katie’s, The Work can be helpful. She has many free video examples on her website.
Peace.
IMG_1095Dear Doree,

I suffer horribly from widespread chronic pain. Doctors call it Fibromyalgia. I won’t label my pain, its just awful. Just started reading David’s book. What do I do when its so bad? What can I say to my self? Ignoring it doesn’t help. Accepting it is emotionally disturbing.D

Answer:

Dear D

I’m so sorry you are going through this horrible pain. Oh my dear. Perhaps I could share some information and make a few suggestions to lessen your suffering.

Here are my thoughts in no particular order.

Letting go of chronic pain using the method shared on this website and featured in Dr Hawkins’ book involves first quieting the mind. When you ask, “What can I say to myself?” I would encourage, if you need to say anything, say something like:

“I am willing to let go and I’m worth the time I’m taking to do this for myself.”

Then select a method to quiet the mind that works for you and complete the letting go steps. For suggestions on How to Quiet the Mind visit this page.

If you actively, “ignore” chronic pain, this is setting up a resistance to the pain. What we resist often persists. We feel even worse. Instead, I invite you to try both willingness and acceptance. Specifically the willingness to apply the Letting Go technique and the intention to accept sensations as they arise.

Fibromyalgia seems to affect many people these days, especially women. I learned from Dr Mario Martinez, who works with those suffering from fibromyalgia, that it’s caused by a profound lack of delta sleep. He also shared that typically in those afflicted, their bodies have been programmed (usually from traumatic past experiences) to maintain a hyper-vigilant state. The fibromyalgia sufferer’s body simply won’t reset to a state of calm relaxation. This can go on for decades and can lead to sleep disorders and eventually fibromyalgia symptoms.

Finally, it can be very helpful to learn the relationship between mind and body found in Chapter 15 of Letting Go. Dr Hawkins also wrote a superb book called, Healing and Recovery (2009).
There’s a chapter devoted to Pain and Suffering. He suggests learning self-hypnosis to create an altered state of consciousness. I regularly use self-hypnosis to achieve deep relaxation of my body. One of the methods I use was inspired by the work of Robert Monroe (Hemisync – Gateways).

If I have sensations (I’ve come to interpret) as physical pain, I do two things under ideal circumstances. First, I find a way to get into a state of relaxation and then I practice letting go.

I hope these suggestions give you comfort.

Love,

Doree

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Name: C

I want to learn letting go of my self-criticism & judgment… In particular I want to learn letting go of my feeling of neediness… Needing affection, needing approval, needing praise.

I KNOW I’m good. I KNOW I’m worthy of love…. But there are days when I just don’t connect with the FEELING of being okay without being appreciated or validated or adored or wanted or needed by others. And I notice my wanting-ness, and hear my specific requesting-ness, but still feel overwhelmed with neediness and disappointed-ness, and wanting love from someone or somewhere outside myself…. In these moments I notice my feeling of neediness and don’t know how to let go in those moments!

 

Dearest C,

I love this topic! Thank you so much for writing and for bravely sharing. Here’s what comes up for me when I connect with your words.

What’s so terribly wrong about being needy?

And who is asking?

Playing the role of asking, “Why am I so damn needy?!” is our inner critic. Also known as the super ego (a kind of nasty, authoritative parent) and often at the root of our suffering. And here’s the kicker. None of our self-criticism, none of our judgement is ever true.

Ever.

So back to what’s wrong with being needy?

Absolutely nothing!

You are human and you have needs.

Marshall Rosenberg created a needs inventory. Have a look. My sense is that underneath your struggle with wants and desires, lies a real need. You’re worthy of having these needs met.

The letting go practice can help you here. In the uncomfortable moments you describe, I encourage you to quiet your mind. To breathe. Allow the sensations and if you can, go deeper. One very effective strategy while letting go distressing sensations is to, ask for more. Dive into the shadow and explore the outer reaches of your neediness.

Over time life has a way of processing out what we describe as unwanted neediness. Even without you’re attention to the matter, over time it will naturally process out of your consciousness. I encourage you to revisit this exact letter a year from now. You’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come. Some of the struggles you describe will be a faint memory.

Thank you for writing and reminding me of my need for connection.

Love!

Doree

 

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Dear Doree,

I am almost finished reading the book (Letting Go), however, I am still struggling with the actual mechanism. I have noticed a better overall sense and outlook on things. However, one thing that has been absolutely consuming me is fear of lack. I am completely stuck in fear and desire for money. We have a lot of debt, I lost my job so we are on my husband’s salary alone. I watch the debt pile up and I don’t see an end. I make it a practice to “cast the burden of lack on God” (as in The Game Of Life and How To Play It), however, nothing is changing. I feel that my fear and desire alone is blocking the flow of money. I just want relief of the debt and worry. I don’t know how to let go of these feelings because the problems still exist. Please help.

S.

Thank you S! I created a post called Letting Go of STRESS there you’ll find my response to your excellent question.

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Hi Doree,

I was wondering if the Sedona Method is the same method of letting go that Dr David R Hawkins speaks of in his book. The same method that you yourself talk of.

I have tried to let a feeling come up, let it rest there and then let it go, but it doesn’t feel right. Like I’m doing it wrong or something. I don’t seem to feel as much emotion in the resting there as I feel like I should, and so then it doesn’t feel like I’ve let it go at all.

I’m wondering if there is anywhere in Australia that you know of, or elsewhere that teaches this method in a retreat or as a course, so that at least I could feel like I’m getting it right.

Thank you so much for your inspiration!

C

Hi C,

I’m thrilled to hear from you and to learn I’ve inspired you.

Dr Hawkins apparently worked with Lester Levenson the creator of the Sedona Method back in the 80’s. I’m quite familiar with The Sedona Method having used it myself. At present, Hale Dowaskin has the licence and has produced many courses and products including a series of apps called, Letting Go.

For me, the strength of Dr Hawkin’s method is what it doesn’t include. It is absent of mentalizing in any form. The Sedona Method has you asking yourself questions. I found this aspect kept me in my head. I have a tendency to over-think. I analyze. Heck, I even dramatize! Any excuse to stay in the intellect sees me refining and reshaping the issue. Many people escape into substances, overeating, mindlessly watching TV. I escape into my mind. This awareness makes Dr Hawkin’s, Letting Go method a fit for me.

Now to what you present in the second paragraph of your letter. “I have tried…but it doesn’t feel right…I’m doing it wrong…I should…” These are all judgments you’ve made. Criticisms which won’t occur in a quiet mind.

I cannot overemphasize the value of a quiet mind. This could take time and vigilance on your part but you have nothing to lose. Thoughts, such as the ones you shared, are resistance to letting go.

I would love to say I know of a practitioner in Oz, who teaches, Letting Go. The closest I’ve been is with an online group I lead last year. Participants joined from as far off as Germany and Texas. We met weekly on GoToMeeting for 6 months and practiced together for an hour. And the synergistic healing available in a group is outstanding!. One member would bring up an issue. We’d all go silent and practice letting go. Not surprising, participants reported feeling better (lighter, more relaxed, fresh) even when an issue wasn’t theirs. I loved it! 🙂

Finally, please know the power of your intention. If it is to, “let go,” no matter what, (and no giving up) you will be successful. Inner freedom is not obtained overnight. Enjoy the journey!

Much love to you,

Doreewater colour cherries

 

 

Hi Doree,

I am delighted to meet you in cyber space. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing my post and tweets with your followers, and for all the helpful information you have on this site.

I printed out your post on letting go as I was having trouble fully understanding the process from Dr. Hawkin’s last book on surrender and letting go. I focused on shame/embarrassment over reckless behavior towards myself that happened many years ago after drinking a little too much at the time.

I felt emotions of sadness move up to my heart area when I remembered the incident. Then unrelated random memories of other harmless but lack of good judgement actions came into my awareness; surprisingly I felt anger which moved from my solar plexus to my throat.

My question is: Should I replace these uncomfortable emotions with a different feeling such as Dr. Martinez suggested (per your post “Letting Go of Being Humiliated”?). I am concerned that as I am stirring up these feelings, I am not doing the exercises of letting go correctly and they will continue to have a negative impact in my life. How do I know my letting go session is working?

 

My dear fellow blogger, Suflight,

I’m grateful for our connection too. You’ve asked a powerful question which I’ll respond to first.

“How do I know my letting go session is working?”

According to Dr Hawkins and in my own experience, you’ve let go, when you detect only “a benign indifference” on the matter. Complete letting go (which can take some time) has required me to dig into my own dark side. For me, learning about the antics of the ego can be helpful.

Carl Jung said,

“Filling the conscious mind with ideal conceptions is a characteristic of Western theosophy, but not the confrontation with the shadow and the world of darkness. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

What he’s referring to (I think) is the process Doc alludes to as well. Fearlessly clearing what stands in the way of our true Self. This is letting go, in a nutshell. Releasing the pervasive clouds to reveal the inner sun.

When you get angry over regrets please don’t judge yourself. If you could have done better, at the time, you would have. Also notice when you escape into avoidance of your shadow. My suggestion is to create awareness around what you do when you get uncomfortable. Many people dive into uplifting readings and affirmations. These offer a temporary “feel good”. Yet sometimes we do this, to avoid letting go.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.” ~ Dr David R Hawkins

Because you will “forget” issues where you’ve let go, it’s helpful to write down what’s causing suffering. From here, simply set an intention to let them go.

Face whatever comes up with acceptance and curiosity. Let Go. If you feel in a hurry, let go these sensations. When you notice yourself analyzing and thinking, take a deep breath and let go. Of course it’s always your choice to let go or not.

Last week I got blindsided by an issue. For half a day, I forgot I even had the choice to let go! It took a dear friend to remind me. 🙂

You and I serve the world by what we’ve become. In our “becoming” we are courageously letting go.

Let’s remember to be patient with ourselves and brave for each other.

Love and Hugs,

Doree

 

If you imagine someone who is brave enough to withdraw all his projections, then you get an individual who is conscious of a pretty thick shadow. Such a man has saddled himself with new problems and conflicts. He has become a serious problem to himself, as he is now unable to say that they do this or that, they are wrong, and they must be fought against… Such a man knows that whatever is wrong in the world is in himself, and if he only learns to deal with his own shadow he has done something real for the world. He has succeeded in shouldering at least an infinitesimal part of the gigantic, unsolved social problems of our day. ~ Carl Jung

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Dear Doree

I was very glad to find you because I read Letting Go by David Hawkins and have been trying to practice it, but of course I am always wondering if I am actually doing what he’s recommending. You’ve created a great resource here.

My question is about not being able to feel the emotions. Sometimes when I am focusing on an issue and releasing, I feel a little bit of the emotion, but then I just feel heat. Lots of heat like on my skin. And sometimes I feel a tension that moves up my body and often gets more tense at my neck. These physical sensations often move upward.

So I am feeling all these physical sensations, but not necessarily feeling any emotions like shame or guilt or anger. My emotions often feel blank, but I’m breathing and feeling strong physical sensations.

Has this ever happened to you? Is this part of the releasing in your experience?

Thank you! – D

Hi D

Thank you for your question.

You have a wonderful sense of what’s going on in your body. Well done!

The “heat” you mention is energy creating sensations in the body. From reading Dr Hawkins book you may recall, the body is unable to experience itself. Interpretation is the domain of the mind (the experiencer). Which explains why on anesthesia we don’t feel the body. Mind is asleep.

In letting go, the mind is awake but unnecessary. An active ego mind during letting go can halt the process. Thinking seems to hold the body captive and tense. Hence, Step 2 of the Letting Go Method – Clear Away All Thoughts. Just sink into allowing the body’s sensations. In this non-resistant state the body naturally lets go.

Seems to me like you’re on the right track. Keep going.

If you want or need to see progress I do advice keeping a Letting Go Journal. List the issues in your life you wish to surrender. Check back weekly or once a month and celebrate what you’ve released.

I don’t want to get you thinking anymore than you do 🙂 but I have a question. How do you know the heat you describe is not emotional?

Love!

Doree

 

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7 thoughts on “Do You Have a Letting Go Question?

  1. Hi Doree, I am re-reading Dr. Hawkin’s “Letting Go” and stopped by to visit your site. I was pleasantly surprised and grateful in finding your response to my email of a few months ago. I was not aware you had responded! I have printed it to read it again as your insights are very helpful. I love your response to “how I know if my letting go session is working” And guess what? I just revisited the memory that embarassed me, and I had an”oh, well, it happened attitude”. I believe your reminder, “we all do the best we can”, cinched it for me. How cool. 🙂

    I will be contacting you soon for a paid email session around an issue I have. I feel the need to work with someone like you who can guide me with the process of letting go.

    Thank you so much for your reply. It seems the Universe knows the right timing, and it was meant I see it tonight.

    Hugs and love,
    Marie

  2. Thien says:

    Hi Doreen,

    Beautiful work. I’ve been using the ‘letting go’ method for a few months now. I tend to feel the sensation as a tight band around my chest whatever it is I’m trying to let go. However, I don’t tend to feel the sensation releasing, or any sense of peace however long I sit with this sensation (30+ mins). It just stays a strong heavy tension. Am I still getting benefit from it?

    Thankyou for your insightful writing,

    Thien

  3. AO says:

    Hi Doree,

    I too have read Hawkins’ letting go several times, I am really trying to let go and surrender, as I go around and round circles without any succes I can’t help feeling if I am left out by God himself , i have a huge fear of rejection, fear of money fear of lack of money, fear of fear itself. I take small bites to let go and surrender but neither my feelings or my body sensations seem to lessen yet along disappear. My situation is not improving on the contrary it is getting worse, I sit silently and consantrate on my breathing and I breath into wherever the pain is, and I get a little bit of a relief which allows me have some peace for about 20 min, yet a simple thought triggers the same amount of pain frustration anger etc easily and I am back where I started from, how would I know if I am on the right track ? I am so looking forward to your reply

    Thank you

  4. David says:

    Hey Doreen,

    I really appreciate your work and already had some success with it;) I only wonder If Its enough to just focus on my breath when something negative is comming up instead of ”breathing into the emotion”. What I found is that I intensify the emotion by only focusing on my breath.

    Thank you,

    David from Germany

  5. Hi David and thank you for your kind words. I’m thrilled you’re having some good results with the letting go method. Great question regarding intensifying emotion by focusing on the breath. This is the point! As you allow the emotion to intensify more and more, this facilitates it’s release. I find it’s helpful (and can be a bit scary) to ask for more. This is an intentional stance because really all you’re doing is breathing into the sensations. So asking for more of the emotion arises non-verbally as part of your practice. Hope that makes sense. Again, wonderful to hear from you!

  6. Dearest AO,
    Please accept my apologies for the late reply. I just found your comment. With the passage of time you may have already found some relief.

    What you describe is powerful. It is the process of Letting Go in action! I’m so thrilled for you which may come as a surprise because you have shared how you suffer.
    I relate to your perception of the inner pain getting worse. All I can suggest is stick with it and don’t give up. Be brave and ask for more.

    Try to identify the worse possible outcomes for each of your fears and see if you can accept these possibilities.

    Something else you might consider. While you are letting go, your ego will taunt you with thoughts that it’s not working. Know that it IS working. Trust in your intention to let go. Feel the gratitude for even coming up with such a goal. Wow.

    Most of the world is only interested in feeding their pain. You, my friend, have taken a very courageous step. You know what to do. No more reading or study is necessary. All that’s required is your willingness to Let Go.

    Please let me know where you are at this stage. I’d be delighted to hear from you again.
    Love,
    Doree

  7. Hi Thien,
    Thank you for your kind feedback. If you go looking for the sensation to release, it won’t. It’s like telling your body to “Relax.” Which most people agree doesn’t work.

    Instead, I would notice the sensation and limit myself from describing it or analyzing it in any way. No thoughts. Just breathe. Be with the sensations without commentary. Before or after practicing, Letting Go, ask yourself this question. “So what if it takes 6 months?” Thank you for writing me and for Letting Go.

    Much love,

    Doree

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